by Rio Branham

Intro

A phrase that we sometimes say here is that Spiritual Friendships are the whole of the way. I want to dive a little bit deeper into it and what it means to me and why we say it.

We usually ask to see who is here for the first time. But I’m curious to see who is here for their 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time. Will you raise your hand? It always amazes me that new people show up every week. Obviously not everyone sticks around, but the fact that some do and the fellowship continues to grow is an indicator that there’s something going on here that isn’t easily found elsewhere.

I was not the only one that was afraid that a large group of people would not be interested in coming once Christopher Sensei stopped teaching regularly. Maybe some people have and that’s ok, but I’m glad to see that we’re full almost every Sunday and that the Sangha continues to evolve, despite some major changes the fellowship has been going through. And I’m not just trying to make myself and the other practice leaders feel better, because as I’m going to discuss, it’s certainly not about us.

For all our new or semi-new comers Sangha means community and originally was used to describe the community of monks who joined the Buddha, but we use it to talk about our community of lay practitioners. I will also generally be using the term Sangha and Spiritual Friends interchangeably.

What is the point?

At first this new phase of the fellowship was really exciting to be part of, to be up front sharing what I had been learning from our sensei’s and lineage teachers. But even after a few short months I’ve noticed that it’s easy to lose sight of the purpose of it all. Spending more time with administrative things like coordination and planning quickly makes what felt like a spiritual practice feel more like a job. Don’t get me wrong, all the meetings and discussions are important to keep the fellowship functioning — but they’re not the point. It’s also easy to fall into the trap of thinking that it’s the content of a dharma talk that’s the point. Or the specific chants or readings or quotes or meditations or rituals that are the essence of what we’re doing here. But in my opinion those are all supporting features of the Sangha, or our spiritual friendships, which is the whole of the way. 

This phrase “Spiritual Friendships are the whole of the way” comes from the Upaddha Sutra in the Pali Canon. The Buddha’s cousin and attendant Ananda came up to the Buddha and while looking out over the congregation of monks said, “This must be half of the way, having good spiritual friends and companions.” But the Buddha quickly responded saying, “Don’t say that Ananda, don’t say that. Spiritual friendships and companions are the whole of the way.” He pointed to how having good spiritual companions help guide us along the eightfold path towards awakening.

Why is the Sangha the whole of the way?

This raises the question of why!? Why is the sangha or spiritual friendships the whole of the way? There are many other facets of Buddhism, including reading sutras, meditation practices, and chanting. 

Attending sangha last week I realized it has been a while since I just attended without being up front or ushering and it was a nice reminder of why I love the community. Hearing people be vulnerable and share what’s going on in their life. The special quality of stillness that comes from shared silence with a group of 80 people, which is different from just being silent and meditating alone. Hearing the sangha teach each other and share their ideas and insights that come up from the dharma talk that was shared. Then spending time just getting to know some of you at Dharma Coffee. This type of group participation and dynamic has always been what’s kept me interested in coming back week after week. Sure, I gain a lot from the Dharma Talks that are given, but it wouldn’t have the same effect if I was just showing up to hear a lecture and then go home.

When they changed our titles from Dharma Teachers to Practice Leaders I thought that was a bit intense. Leader sounded stronger to me than teacher, but the word practice is in front of it, which makes me ok with it. We’re students too. We just happen to be the ones up here leading our shared practice. Our shared practice of come as you are, our shared practice of deep & compassionate listening, our shared practice of collective mindfulness and stillness, our shared practice of learning about the dharma from one another. 

I definitely am not qualified to teach in any other buddhist community or sangha, but that’s precisely what is unique and special about our community. No gurus, no elevated or hierarchical seating structure. Notice that the sangha faces each other — and that’s intentional. These were deliberate choices and are important in orienting our community towards each other and not towards a figure head or leader. I find it very instructive that The Buddha, on his deathbed, insisted that there should not be a successor when he died. 

When I first started coming I was skeptical of any leader of an organization or group who people looked up to. I was fully expecting to find evidence of corruption or coercion or some kind of culty vibe. But instead I found Christopher Sensei repeatedly denouncing the idea that he or anyone else was a Guru or a master or claiming personal enlightenment. And that was so refreshing. 

After leaving the religion I was raised in I realized that finding community was a hard thing to do. I had good friends, but there is something about a broader community that provides value and meaning in life. But as I searched for that community I kept finding groups of people who didn’t do things in a way that felt good to me. There was either problematic behaviour or a lack of authentic realness. I stuck around in our community, not because I sought out a Buddhist Sangha specifically but because I was continually impressed by how intentional this community chose to operate.

It’s not a perfect one, we say that every week, we’re not perfect, we don’t claim to be. But we’re also not a community that requires you to be perfect or any certain type of person with particular beliefs or world views to participate. In fact it’s quite the opposite. I saw a community that was self-aware when it comes to the problems inherent in any community. An active effort to avoid gurus and abuses of power, an open acknowledgment that there would be conflicting personalities and that people who we may not want to share space with were still invited to join. It wasn’t performative or flashy or trendy. But humbly invited people to just show up, and to listen to each other. That felt like a radical invitation when it seems like most people want to talk over one another and tell each other they’re wrong or they need to be different. And that kept me coming back. 

Why Individual Effort Cannot be the Whole of the Way?

How can the Sangha be the whole of the way, while still having the Buddha and Dharma as essential elements to awakening? [Question]

While time alone for self reflection and learning is essential, it is insufficient. Building a meaningful community is hard. Whenever you get a group of people together, personalities will clash, but instead of walking away or pushing the people you don’t like out, if we choose to face those challenges head on we are rewarded with the opportunity to grow and to continue on the path. 

I was given the dharma name “Gikan-Yo” being translated as “Good Mirror.” I had to think for a while about what a “Good Mirror” was. I don’t think it has any implication on my own morality, instead a good mirror is one that reflects clearly what is in front of it. I don’t know if I live up to that, but I have thought a lot about how all of us mirror things back to each other, and help each other see our weak points. Without interaction and feedback from others it’s easy to fall into patterns of thinking and acting that lead to stagnation and build up of egoic self delusion. It is the difficulties inherent in bringing a group of people together that makes it a spiritual practice. 

While there are things to gain through personal meditation and introspection, we do not get the necessary reflection from others we get in a community. But when we take seriously the idea that spiritual friendships are the whole of the way, those reflections and interactions prompt us inward, they do reveal the dharma that exists in every moment. I mentioned that the Buddha didn’t appoint a successor, what he did say is that the Dharma was sufficient to show the way. He trusted that he had shared what he could and that it was up to them as a community to go forward and implement the Dharma that had been revealed through his life, through his spiritual friendship with them. Here we are, 2500 years later, still meeting as a Sangha, in an effort to learn and share the Dharma with one another.

How to Practice Sangha as the Way

Now saying that we just ask that people show up may seem simplistic on the surface, but showing up isn’t always easy. Showing up is saying I’m ready to face reality. Showing up means I’m ready to be present and see what might be reflected back at me as I interact with others in community. And it’s a practice that extends beyond our Sunday service. This practice is to be extended to our worldly sangha. This practice helps us show up in the rest of our life more grounded, more able to confront difficulties at work, or school, or with family. We’re not professional conflict resolutioners but learning to listen and show up and be yourself and let others see you and seeing them goes a long way. It’s not easy. It’s not meant to be cozy. That’s not what we’re doing here. Walking each other home can mean we gotta go through some shit together. But so long as we’re walking together we will have support and help ease each other’s burdens and go further than we could individually.

In a Dharma talk from Christopher Sensei he says this,

The Sangha…is where we cultivate faith in our practice, in each other, and in the Way of Oneness. Together, we create the Pure Land here and now. 

Last week Steve talked about us being the hands of Avalokiteshvara. Similarly, I like the idea that the Pure Land is not just some future time or far away place. It can be built here and now. Practicing community is the chance to build it together. A place of acceptance and harmony. What I love about the word harmony is that it implies differentiation. When talking about harmony in a musical context it means taking different musical notes and putting them together in unique and interesting ways. A song with one note is not very interesting. And a song full of notes that are not organized in any way and trample over each other in a dissonant cacophony is also not pleasing. The problem isn’t which notes are present, but the work needed to find the structure that works best, find the role for each note that best showcases its unique properties and supports the whole. That is the work and the practice of building spiritual friendships.

I love how it says it in our practice manual,

I offer you my hand

my heart, my mind

I ask only this,

…that you remain by my side

until both of us awaken

to our own true nature

Closing

I wrote most of this talk in the middle of the night when I was feeling some resistance to coming to sangha one week and I was trying to remind myself why I do it at all. But you are why. It’s so easy for me to recluse, to hide from reality, to escape and run away and distract myself, but that’s the source of my suffering. Confronting it, showing up as I am, giving this talk and telling you my complicated feelings is how I practice the Dharma. Through the Sangha. With the example of the Buddha as my guide.

So I really do look forward to each Sunday and getting to practice what it means to build community and to make spiritual friendships. I thank you all for your presence and invite you to lean into your communities and relationships that are meaningful to you so that we may all find ourselves on the path towards awakening.

Namu Amida Butsu