I want to start today’s talk with one of my favorite teachings of the Buddha found in the Upaddha Sutra in the Pali Canon. This story involves Ananda, the Buddha’s cousin and attendant, who has been with him for many years. As they rest during their journey, I can envision him glancing over the assembly and walking alongside them to the next village. Some are engaged in sitting meditation; others practice walking meditation, and some smile and share joyful moments together.

Reflecting on their learning and sharing, Ananda has an insight and wishes to convey it to the Buddha. He turns to the Buddha and gestures towards their companions, saying, “This is half of the holy life, Lord: admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie.” I can picture the Buddha looking at Ananda with a smile, perhaps slightly surprised by his response. The Buddha replies,

“Don’t say that, Ananda. Don’t say that. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, and admirable camaraderie are actually the whole of the holy life. When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, and colleagues, he can be expected to develop and pursue the noble eightfold path.”

The Buddha’s response was unexpected for me. It is important to note that he is firm with Ananda to ensure he does not misunderstand that admirable friendship is not just part of the Way but rather the entirety of the Way. “Don’t say that, Ananda. Don’t say that…it is actually the whole of the holy life.”

This teaching is desperately needed in our current world and has always been integral to the Buddha’s way. This principle is known as the concept of kalyāṇa-mitra, which means a spiritual friend, a good friend, or a noble friend.

When I first encountered Buddhism through the lens of Westernized images and the commercialization of Zen, I did not expect this emphasis on kalyāṇa-mitras. I had always perceived the journey as solitary, characterized by isolation and self-reflection, often confined to my apartment. I appreciate this quote from Bhikkhu Bodhi.

“People new to Buddhism often take the Dharma to be a purely individual path of spiritual development. They imagine that the only correct way to follow the Dharma is to lock oneself up in one’s room, turn off the lights, and devote all one’s efforts to practicing meditation. 

However, if we look at the Buddhist texts, we would see that the Buddha again and again stressed the value of spiritual friendship as a support for the Buddhist path throughout the entire course of its practice. …”

Today, as we continue enjoy our return to this space and the spiritual friendships held, cultivated, and protected here, I want to say a few words about Sangha as Practice.   First, I want to share a few words I shared during our re-dedication service when we came back to Vitalize a few years ago.  

“These four walls hold so many memories, so many moments when the walls around our hearts came down, and we felt connected to ourselves and others like never before. For others, this is a new homecoming; with us, it is a place to settle, be still, be safe, listen, be heard, and be a student and a teacher. Places and spaces such as this hold us. These four walls, this altar, act as anchors to connect us to something greater, to each other, and to our own hearts. We honor what happens inside these four walls in this space, this container.

As we take residence here, our practice and engagement, our struggles and difficulties, our delusions and awakenings will be attended and tended to. This tending, caring, and healing has less to do with these walls, roof, flowers, statues, scrolls, candles, and incense. Even though the four walls of our new temples hold our practice, hold our memories, hold our stories and aspirations, 

In the absolute, these walls, these bricks and mortar, are not the sangha. Are not even our community’s home.  In our tradition, our practice is the practice of sangha, intentional community, deep listening, come as you  , and whole-hearted acceptance. The heart of what we do, of Namu Amida Butsu, is spiritual friendship.”

Since the early days of the Buddha, Sangha has been practiced. Initially, the Sangha consisted solely of ordained monks who laypeople supported. However, as Buddhism spread into East Asia and eventually the West, this narrow definition of Sangha has evolved. Today, it has become more inclusive, encompassing lay followers and the broader communities in which we practice and live.

We live in an inclusive sangha that encompasses our fellowship, families, work, neighborhoods, and the broader community, extending to the great earth sangha that includes all living things. This inclusive sangha helps me realize that my practice is a daily commitment that touches all aspects of my life and everyone interwoven into it, from the closest friends to strangers.

This open and all-inclusive sangha embodies what we mean when we refer to “the pure land here and now” in our practice manual.

This message is urgently needed in the West as we face the unintended consequences of a pervasive and almost religious sense of “rugged individualism.” This mindset is degrading our ecosystems and has led to increased isolation, fear, and violence. In an increasingly interconnected world, we find ourselves more isolated and compartmentalized. Loneliness pervades our lives, and it often feels like a weakness or personal failure.

The rise of addiction closely correlates with this disconnection. Current research shows that addiction is less a medical issue and more a social one, primarily caused by a lack of connection with others and even with our inner selves.

Therefore, the opposite of addiction is not merely sobriety but connection. It is essential to connect with others, but it is equally important to connect with ourselves. Humans need to build trust, learn from one another, and foster these connections. Doing so enhances our resilience; while suffering is difficult, enduring it alone is almost unbearable.

This is where a sangha comes in.  When we take refuge and more formally become Buddhists, we go for refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. This is known as the three jewels –  Each aspect is interdependent, helping us attain awakening, and the third jewel represents the entirety of the Way.

Thich Nhat Hanh has written extensively about the Sangha, and this teaching resonates deeply with me; it was part of the founding vision of our fellowship in 2013. In traditional Buddhism, there is another Buddha to come—Maîtreya Buddha, the Buddha of Love. Thay has taught that this Buddha Maîtreya is not just an individual but embodies the Sangha itself.. 

The PRACTICE OF SANGHA

How does a sangha support us on our journey? At the heart of our sangha is the invitation to “Come as you are,” which is the starting point for transformation. Within the sangha, the Buddha Dharma comes alive. It is through the broader sangha of our everyday lives that we live and practice Buddhism. Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that…

In order for us to develop some roots, we need the kind of environment that can help us become rooted. A sangha is not a community of practice in which each person is an island, unable to communicate with each other—this is not a true sangha. No healing or transformation will result from such a sangha. A true sangha should be like a family in which there is a spirit of brotherhood and sisterhood.

When you allow yourself to be in a sangha the way a drop of water allows itself to be in a river, the energy of the sangha can penetrate into you, and transformation and healing will become possible.

We need support as we navigate the challenging work of embracing “I don’t know” and learning to befriend ourselves and our suffering. The antidote to pathological individualism is not solitary self-reflection; it involves sharing, listening deeply to others, and asking for help. It’s about learning to trust and rely on one another in crucial real-life moments. We must lean on one another. In the end, no one can save us but ourselves, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need a tremendous amount of help to get there.

In the traditional Pure Land Sutras, the reason for aspiring to be born in the Pure Land is the presence of the good people who reside there. These individuals, including Bodhisattvas, assist us in perfecting our practice and guiding us toward our final awakening.

The fellowship serves as a training ground for our practice. It is a space where we can come as we are, providing countless opportunities to cultivate virtues such as patience, humility, compassion, deep listening, and letting go of fixed views and expectations. Practicing within the sangha can be challenging, as my “coming as I am” may clash with your “coming as you are.”

In Japanese, the spirit of “come as you are” or “sonomama” encourages us to remain steadfast and open. Over the years, I have often compared the Sangha to a rock polisher, one of my favorite analogies. The practice of Sangha is like an old rock polisher, where our sharp edges collide with one another until we become smooth and shiny. By embracing “come as you are,” we open our practice to everyone within the Sangha and our fellowship family. Accepting each other as we are means we take responsibility for our challenges.

I love this passage from Duomo, who teaches at the Zen Studies Institute. 

[we] learn to let go of our attachments and preferences, and to treat all beings with openness and compassion. Particularly … if someone has a negative reaction to you, that’s their practice. If their reaction is about something you’ve said or done that needs to be addressed, it’s their practice to let you know. You can stop worrying about others, and focus on what you can influence: your own mind.

The Sangha is our community—a place of refuge, learning, and acceptance. It is where we cultivate faith in our practice, in each other, and in the Way of Oneness. Together, we create the Pure Land here and now.

Coming together in embodied practice by sitting and sharing the same silence and sharing our lives and experiences embodies what sangha practice truly is. It doesn’t matter how skilled a meditator you are, whether you meditate at all, or what you believe.

When we refer to the Pure Land, we are expressing the idea that, right here and right now, we can live in a space of total acceptance and harmony. This is made possible with the support of the sangha. Rev. Rijin Yasuda has taught, “…could there be any greater ‘birth in the Pure Land’ than the fact that we are now sitting and learning Dharma together? This place where we are listening to the Dharma together is the Pure Land.”

When I read our spiritual friendship aspiration in our practice manual, I often wonder if the idea of the Buddha’s pure land, in Pure Land Buddhism, came from this teaching of the Buddha that Kalyana Mitras are the whole of the way.  

So, as we leave today, I want to thank and contemplate sangha as practice and thank you for your spiritual friendships.

And leave you with this… click below.

Lean On Me